A Pork Meal for a Friend Who Usually Lives in Turkey


It may come as no surprise that pork products are thin on the ground in Turkey, so I was asked by an old friend to make a porky meal and I did.  Three kinds of pork in fact.

Pork in Cider
From Ripailles. A rib roast of pork cooked gently in my Raymond Loewy Le Creuset pot on the stove top in sliced onions and dry cider. Later to be joined by bits of Granny Smith apples, bulbous spring onion, potatoes, and peas. Yes I am shit at crisping crackle but the cooked vegetables were magnificent.

Asparagus and Pancetta
I’m going to tell you it was asparagus and cubed pancetta cooked in a frypan with butter and you’re going to say yeah well I could have guessed that.

Puy Lentils with Bulgarian Sheep’s Feta, Salumi, and Shaved Fennel

Fry up a chopped onion until soft, add 500g of puy lentils, cover with water and simmer for half an hour until cooked (more aldente than soft). Drain and allow to cool a little. Fry up the sliced salumi. Chop up fetta. Shave the fennel bulb. Mix it all together with a slug of olive oil and some lemon zest. You don’t need amounts.

Speaking of Bulgaria, apparently people go to Bulgaria to get their Turkish visas renewed and to buy bacon. I don’t know if this is a visa condition but am a little saddened  of any country that you must travel from to buy pork. I’m no great fan of dietary restrictions in religions. It does push my believing in Supreme Being thing that they’d take time to freelance on food hygeine but still must admit to returning to God’s other pieces on food cleanliness like  ‘ Coloured Chopping Boards – What They Mean and Why We Use Them‘ and ‘Hands – Wash Them and Wash Them Well and Often’

Evening was owned by E, now 4.5 years, who managed to set the table, create a centrepiece, make name cards, create tickets for the dinner that had to be presented before entering the dining room, demonstrate the first three ballet positions, give a ten minute presentation on why the centrepiece was a fountain, magic show, brief rendition of hot cross buns on the Casio followed by free jazz improv, and provide medical assistance to Lewis the teddy.

Nice work.


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  1. santos.’s avatar

    i read that as “a pork meal for a friend who usually lives *on* turkey” which just made me sad for your friend.

    e, on the other hand, i’m borrowing her as wedding planner/entertainment for my non-existent wedding, thanks.

    1. Anthony’s avatar


      I’m sure she could suggest any number of teddies that might be available for marriage.

    2. santos.’s avatar

      as long as it’s not roosevelt. whilst hot in principle, totes dead.

      re: crackling. does your pork skin come with um, gristly hair? how does one remove that?

      1. Anthony’s avatar

        Zombie Teddy Roosevelt or Zombie Teddy Kennedy?

        Not usually but if it does, disposable razor does the trick.

      2. Catie’s avatar

        This pleases me on so many levels.

      3. Anthony’s avatar

        Levelicious! Always good to see Sal.

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