Suspect Device

No, not the cover photo of my new novel RUC & IUDs, a gripping fast-paced tale of forbidden cross-denominational love in Northern Island.

It is, rather, evidence of research done a couple of months ago after I worked out there are very good reasons for serving beer in glasses way back here in May. Like any late convert, when a friend offered me the latest Guiness in a bottle, I demanded a glass. “No” he said, “it doesn’t need one”. He was right, so we smashed open the bottle top have a look at the widget inside, took a photo with his camera. The photo came a few weeks ago.

I’m going to be a bit a priori (read lazy) about this and offer the following explanation. The widget creates a tunnel in the flow to the mouth allow the flavour to breathe and open up, just as happens in a glass. I went on to imagine that the wings create a hydrodynamic effect like a turbine. But then considered the less exciting, but more important function of preventing the widget becoming lodged in the throat.


  1. Robert’s avatar

    I still think it tastes weird out of the bottle.

  2. pixelkitty’s avatar

    I don’t care how clever Guiness think they are, you cannot drink it out of a bottle or can. It must be pored into a glass and left to settle.


  3. Anthony’s avatar

    Alright alright. Had to go down to the spicecave and do some further research. Bought the offending bottle and poured half into a glass and left the other half in the bottle and drank both.

    Results: There isn’t the anticipatory whiff from the bottle as from the glass but the bottle taste improves if you don’t drink it with lips locked around it like a straw but just with the bottom lip resting on the bottle (or else it’ll run down your shirt). A win for the glass, but further testing is needed with the can vs the bottle and then the old bottle with the new bottle. Tough dirty work lucky I’ve got a day off tomorrow.

  4. dave’s avatar

    I noticed with these nitro devices, if you pour it in a glass, all is not wasted. Still get the nice “draught” appearance. I’ve only had it in a pub once (in Maidstone) and nothing will beat the real thing in the right setting.

  5. Anthony’s avatar

    Ahh the widget. As opposed to the widget. Mustn’t be a lot of back-yard mechanics in Ireland.

    Did a taste off with the whooshing-widget thing as well last night – not a noticable different to taste in a glass to the bottle in a glass. Putting my marketing hat on, I’m assuming the bottle is the clubber’s Guiness as they were having troubles with the slow pace of the pour of the Draft – less stimulants and more barbituates might have been an alternative solution.

  6. Anonymous’s avatar

    This ‘next’ bar at the top does suck things up a bit…

    I can’t think of a meme I haven’t already done as yet, but something is bound to come up. Maybe we should do a monthly version of the Friday 5?


  7. Anthony’s avatar

    “Friday 5s”?

  8. Anonymous’s avatar

    Don’t believe them
    Don’t believe them
    Don’t be bitten twice
    It needs to be poured in a glass.


    Sean @

  9. Anonymous’s avatar

    : )

    Sharp as barbed wire Sean. A good chance to give high praise on the haiku recipe. I was going to comment but didn’t want my greasy typeprints all over perfection

  10. Anthony’s avatar

    That anonymous person right above was me.
    What the hell is going on with blogger these days!

  11. Anonymous’s avatar

    thx you, thx you….

    frankly, I’m relieved to know that someone appreciated the haiku. I was concerned that the silence represented fear for my sanity ;)


  12. Anthony’s avatar

    hushed admiration old bean, hushed admiration.

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